damn.. i think i have some problem with my memory lately. biala...

on 24th nov 2011, i'm going back to my hometown cause afina's wedding is on 25th nov. however, i missed the akad ceremony cause that bank asked me to go c the officer at the evening. damn u officer... btw, my friends najwa and jiha r coming on friday nite. so, i fetched them around 8.30 pm. then, we went to kampng gersik to get some dinner. since i am sucked at roads, i have to ask an alive navigator to guide me which is shidah. hahaha.... (boh mrh a.. btw, tq!)

then, the next day, epul arrived around 9 am.  and another two are coming around 3 pm. after i fetched epul, we had our breakfast together at my house cause my dad did mee kolok for them.  next agenda was going to buntal. my dad thought to buy some seafood there. but, we were not that lucky. the seafood was so damn expensive. so, we went to damai central. new place around damai puri and also near to cultural village. however, they did not enter the cultural village cause we dont have much time and they said the  fees quite expensive. then, we went back. around 2.30 after lunch, i'm going to fetch the other two at the airport. as we reached my house, the ceremony already started. yup, there are something going on at my house.


on this day, there was an event going on which is 'tahlil ceremony' for my grandfather. actually, this event will be held at another place. but, because of certain circumstances,this event need to be done at my house instead. the funny thing while this event happened, i really thought i already told my friends about this event. yes, i told them but not epul. hahah... he's been sleeping at the guest room without knowing there was an event outside. while in the hectic moment, he texts me this ' nasib baik ak x klua pakai towel je td ha...' hahahha...

after the ceremony, that night, all of us including my parents went to BCCK. after  the pc fair which held at bcck, we went to kuching town and took some pictures with the big cats. hahaahh... then, we just go round and round. almost 10.30 pm, we arrived home. they said, its feels like program anak angkat since my parents joined together. ( actually, i feel guilty about this cause i cant bring them around kuching all by myself ).

while in the car, we did planned to go serikin before going to fina's wedding. cause, the other two of my friend are going back to kl on sunday nite. so, its decided. at 6.30 am we already on the way to serikin. abt one hour later, we arrived. owh, before i forgot. epul's shoes has been stolen last night. we only figured it out after he asked me whether i saw his shoes or not. sorry for him but what to do.., then, he used my father's croc. hahaha... we went back from serikin around 9 cause we cant be late at the wedding.

while at the wedding, afina looks very different and for the first time i looked her in the montage vid, i couldn't recognize the person in that slide show is her. she is totally gorgeous and i'm happy for her. congratulation!! alhamdulillah my friend. everything is going smoothly. may u find ur happiness and Allah bless u and ur family. i'll missed everything we did before and i hope i can be bridezilla just like u. hahahaha..... (not this time.. later laa.........)



after the wedding, all of us was exhausted. some of us went sleeping and some of them packing. around 4 or 5 pm, my dad drove us to the kek lapis store. i told my dad the other cake house is better. but he said, we go here first, then we go to next one. but, they already bought cakes from there. so, we decide to go back home. cause that night we going to see the bridezilla without the 'costumes'. heheh..

before we go home, we took a boat which known as 'penambang' to the water front. take some pictures. then, we go home. that night, as promise, we go see our friend. after having some quality time with our deary friend, we have to send the other two to the airport..

on the next day. the other two will be going back to kl. same as me. but mine is evening. that morning, something happen and i dont want to talk abt it here. long story short, we having mee jawa and mee laksa for breakfast. after sending them to the airport, i'm going home to pack my things since my flight is also that day. before that, i accompanied epul to buy a new shoes. he managed to find his shoes in 2 hours time at 5 stores. respect! hahaaha....

as u know, epul is going to stay at my house although i'm not there. sorry epul. and thanks cause understand. my mum said he went to tour at kuching all by himself with his new shoes. hahaha...

there.. my story finish here. i apolpgize to my friends if there are any inconvenient while u guys at kuching and especially at my house. feel free to come again and later, i'll make it rite. there is something i want to talk about, but, i'll write it in another post. c u again later. and good night.


p/s: since my phone kinda sucks this time, all the pictures are taken by them and i havent received any... i'll put some pictures later. if i got it.

after i read some articles and comments from the internet, i found this.

why do i miss someone? for me, when we meet somebody sometimes they can become a special person for us just because of their attitude. they share everything with us such as time, feelings, problems, ideas, an this can make us feel a better person.

and when they leave us, the pain is unbearable because we need them so much and we need everything that they can gave us. we will feel so alone when they are not around. i agree with one of the comments i read when she thinks that ' special person sows a grain of love in our heart and I believe that when we meet a  lovely person we become  in a stronger person because he/she  gives us part of his/her essence (soul)'.

 we made of small pieces of all the nice people that we have met in our life. i miss my best friend more than she knows right now.

i miss her.. and always missing her, but tonite, i know she's sick and she needs me. thus, it does make me miss her more. however, i cant be there for her. and i feel so guilty..... i'm sorry. i really am. i know she has a lot of problems rite now and i hope she can manage it. i know she can. she's tougher now.

i'll call her tomorow coz tonite she is sick, cant talk much coz of the ulcer and fever.

i have a lot of things going on last week. and i hope i can write it here soon.. today, i cant bcoz, i'm stress with one guy that suddenly shoot me abt my work.

HAPPY!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATULATION MY COUNTRY, MALAYSIA!!!!!!!!!

i wish i can cry right now, i've tried, but i cant. and its totally hurt. i'm vulnerable rite now. and exhausted.

i dont understand u anymore, if u have something in mind, please talk to me coz i cant stand guessing what is in your head. i know that i really dont have any problem with u, but i do care about u. so, just talk to me. i know u love talking, i know u love people listen to u, i know u have stories to tell.

but, if u choose to not talk to me, its ok. i can take it. but, i dont know how long. i just want u to know that there are other people also care abt u.

however.. the problem is not u, its me. so, no offense with all crappy things i've wrote above. i do have headache while blogging this post.

i miss u so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate this feeling.

she apologize to me about last day. suddenly i feel that i am really bad person... idk, is juast random feeling..

tonite, i stayed at the office until 9.30 pm.. want to finish up the shop drawing.. but, the computer buat hal laaa...i have to submit the drawing by tomorrow and i hope i can finish it b4 5pm.

that 'pakcik' really happy today, and idk why and what happen to him.but, he does make me smile while i'm stressing my head. :))

i am still in excited state right now and i donno why. hahahah... maybe because of the today's date. its 11.11.11 hehe... i realize this after signing the circular form. but, after i saw what i've wrote, its look like u.u.u hahhaah... today was awesome and while i'm writing this post, the time now is also 11:11: the sec i dont know. hehe..

today, my supervisor is not around. and i'm doing the shop drawing. hundred of beams and slabs and columns and most important thing is the revision. how many times the drawing has been revised by the consultant. just imagine the piling part, the revision was until ZZ already.  everything they want to change... however, my supervisor said, this is normal when u do the shop drawing. so, u need to be alert on the drawing u refer.. i'm doom.

hah. news for this month. for the last two months, i did not receive the outstation allowance from them. i'll keep asking on myself, why dont i get it? bcoz, the boss told me that i have that thing. yesterday, i had a little chat with my colleague. i'm asking about the allowance since she also entitled with it. then, she told me that it should be in the pay slip. but, nope, my pay slip din show it. she asked me to ask the human resource. so, today.. i asked them.

then guess what??? they forgot to pay my outstation allowance for two months! hahah. plus, they asked me, how long have u been working here? omg.. hahahah... funny.

after few minutes, hr at kuching called me and said that they are very sorry about that and at the end of this month, i will receive 3 months of outstation allowance. hahahahahah... alhamdullilah..:))

i think this is why i am in excited mode. hehe...  owh, i'll be back at kuching at the end of this month to attend my long lasting friend's wedding. awwww... she's married........!!! almost. hehe.. congrats my dear friend.

gtg.. bye!

i just arrived at kk tonight..  and i think i'm homesick.. what should i do now..........

i'm done watching a malay drama at tv3 and suddenly, i was really into that drama. i dont care whether u guys think this is lame. its about an evil mother in law and sounds so snake to the family. she talks with polite sentence but it was actually the meanest thing to say.

i was working very far away from my family and this drama shows the mother is missing her daughter very much. then, i'm thinking about my mum at home. yes, i called her everyday but its just not the same when u r there. plus in the movie, when the mother knows that her daughter will come back home, she was very excited. however, the meanest mother in law did something tricky so that they cant go back. the mother waited until she had an accident and the daughter didnt know about it bcoz the 'snake' didn't told her. then, bla.. bla.. the daughter had her chance to go back home. but, its too late coz the mother died.

this moment, i remembered my family at home again. and for a sec, i feel so guilty leaving my mum and dad there just to follow my dream. but, my sense come back before my emotion come all over me. i have a dream and that dream is to make my parents happy and proud. i know they are happy when they saw i'm happy. i always missing them lately and that drama just let my emotion burst.


i miss my family........

i hate arguing. no matter with who. because i will not win. i'm hardly win, win. i'll be the one who listen to the person i'm arguing at whether i am the one bringing the topic or not. is just not my style to argue with people. if i have something to say or issues, i'll do this. writing it out.

the one that i wrote is exactly what i want to say. however, if i said it, it wont be the same as what i wrote. i dont know why. and sometimes, things i've said is just ridiculous and unacceptable. i know it because i'll recall things i've said. then, i'll regret it if i'm messed up and relief when nothings wrong.

ahhh... i'm sucks at this. because last nite, i'm arguing with someone and the result, i lost then lose. totally unprepared. damn! we'll continue 'discussing' about that thing tomorrow.

one more thing... i couldn't sleep rite now just because of that thing. if i choose not to think, i'm the one that in trouble, and if i'm thinking about it, i might got major headache. no matter what, i am the one with the problem.

i wish i only have an assignment or report to finish and then submit it on the next day. at least the 'problem' can be solved immediately. but, how long can u want to be with assignments and reports? as long as u learning the subject, u also need to learn how to live. and now, i'm learning how to live and handle the big assignments in life.

gtg, its late. gud nite.

i miss my mum and dad.. just now, i'm video-calling them using application in the facebook cause its the easiest thing to teach through the phone. while calling them, i took them to a short tour around my house. and now, they know how my house looks like. and later, i'm thinking to give them a tour around this place. where do i buy my food and my stuff, where do i wait for the bus and where is my office. since i dont have my sony any more, i cant vc using my phone..

i'm giving them a surprise next week. i'm going back to kuching! hahah.. but, my mum knows about it.. but my dad doesnt. i cant wait to see how they react and see me later. hihi...

its 11 pm and i have to sleep now coz i am working tomorrow. see ya! gud nite.

what the H!!! u complaint so much! did u see i'm complaining??? give me a break here.

welcome back to me! i am so happy after i knew i can blog again from now on. there is many things going on in my head and i dont think i cant stand 'eating' it alone. i have to throw it away after i forcefully ate it.

this month is very challenging for me. VERY MUCH SIR! and i never think it really happening to me. but it did happen. start from the beginning of the month and even until now. i'll give u the brief:
- i live at my friend's friend house (house A)
- everyday i went back home at 8/9 pm.
- family matters (sister with jpa, brother with ptptn, parents...)
- conflict with friendsss ( a lot....) but still hanging on.
- my soul is not been taken care carefully ( if u know what i mean...)
- the weird thing in house A.. (scary and spooky)
- found the new house - rent a room (house B)
- borrow money from my sister to pay the rent and deposit.
- my parent disagree with the house B - rejected
- found another house (House C) - approved
- have to pack all the things and send it to the new house.
- the next day flew to kl for graduation.
- skip the kl thing coz it was the nicest thing that ever happen to me.
- i have to withdraw a lot of money: for house A and C, plus the kl thing. i may spent almost 1000+ for all of that plus the cost while i am here.
- i need to buy a ticket for raya haji which cost me another 300+
- the broadband 150 coz i cant stand living without internet.
- the laundry for this week cost 20 bucks. (damn!)
- now it almost end of october and i am totally broke.
- what can i say is, i only have two figure in both of my bank acc and at my own...... (but, i still feel that i can pull this thing through and survive. pray for me.)

money is the biggest event for this month. i hope i am not facing it anymore.

about people around me, u can talk anything u want but dont mess with me. its my room, my house and who r u to complaint everything that i hve work for. its about me and i am the one whos living my life here... not u. if u r here and only want to talk crap about my place, it better for u to leave. i dont need people like u. and 1 more thing. if u dont want me to care about u, do not care about me either. what r u thinking? u want me to makan ur budi and then u can talk back about me?? although i know u r good people but in certain way, u annoyed me very much. and sometimes make me mad in the inside.


i think i already makes some of u guys lost in the wonderland.. but, the main point is, i am broke! hahahahah.... btw, gud nite peeps.

i miss blogging.... very much. after 1 week without internet, i feel so lost in this new world around me..

my phone broke down after few days i am here. so, i have to buy a new phone.. and guess what phone did i bought??? u cant believe it cause i cant believe it either.


so far.. i like my work. i feel like working.. but.. there are some inconveniences here and there. however, what can i do.. just keep urself together and suck it up!

no time for arguing or merungut this time. btw, its 1.40 am.. and i have to go to work tomorrow.. so, i have to sleep.. there are tonnes of stories happen to me this few weeks. and i am eager to write it here. coz its fun. later, i'll come back and give some story.

for now, i cant stand my eyes from closing and its a gud bye..

bye, daa.. oh, sorry if my sentences upside down.. a bit sleepy and so lazy to make it right.

tomorrow i'll be flying to kota kinabalu for my work. 6 months..

suddenly, i cant stand to leave my parent by themselves here.. however, its for my own good.

btw, its not i'll be at kk forever.. i hope i can learn fast enough and come back here early than expected.

couldnt bare to stay there.. i have vacation to plan. kan wak kan.. hihi..

tomorrow is her birthday and we still cant celebrate our birthday... i cant remember the last birthday we celebrate together cause its been ages we din do that.

i miss the time when we sing a happy birthday song to each other in the early morning. and make fun of our own voices.

i miss her very much and i wanna call her rite freakin now cause 5 more minutes is her birthday!!!!!! gtg. bye!

lamak dah ak x blogging.. malas ada, bz ada, xda bnda mok cita ada.. mcm jak...

tp, last2.. blog juak.. btw, selamat hari raya semua... hihi... lupak mok wish ktk ctok. dh raya ke- 6 dh tok.. ngeee... xpa, raya sebulan bah.


mok ngga tb lok. n ada bnda mok polah kak tok. klak la post agik. sori mun sapa2 baca ya, xda post baru...

i am freakin boring working here.. surprisingly they knew that i am really bored here. its not much i can do except the admin work. i feel tired waiting for the job that could never be mine. its just frustrating. its been a month i've been here and what can i say about my experience... its nothing. its pathetic! poor me.


i hope i can stand at least 3 months more. then, i want to go elsewhere if this situation continues.... but, if i got a new offer, i might take it. hehe.. i couldn't feel the feeling that i suppose to be felt. they said, there are a lot of works here, and i could learn a lot of experiences. however, its not happening.. maybe its to soon to tell. so, just wait for a few months.. the time fly very fast u know..


thankfully there is internet connection here, if not i would die with boredom.

soon...

ramadhan will end..

soon..

raya will come...

soon..

my sister will not be here anymore!!!!!!!!


and soon....
huk3... i am gonna be crazy!

HARI RAYA... SEMUA ORANG GEMBIRA..

hahah... my sister, my mum and i already baked two type of biskut.

haha.. nice kan..

alaa... this picture is upside down

before the 'art'

this is another biscuit. the one that i safely baked.

hahah.. this one, a bit burned underneath.....

up till now, those two the only one that we made. maybe next week we will start on baking the layered cakes....! hee... i have few in my mind now..

off to go...:)

i heard this story from my mum last week. in the car, after work.

the JPA which stands for Jabatan Perkhidmatan Awam, will be diminished. my mum and her friends were in the Bahagian Pencen where they the one that managed all the pesara's money.

so, my mum and her cliques were really disagree with that decision and a little bit shocked. they had a meeting with the bosses and representative from kl regarding this matter.

while in the meeting, the representative said that the decision already been made in the last meeting. however, i dont know how all the staffs are not been informed about this. maybe there are some misunderstanding between them.

then, the workers try to fight for the pesara because with current condition, the jabatan still faced problem with money delayed, not enough data and so on.. plus there are some pesara who are mad and crazy at the office cause of late payment. what happen when the department diminish?

from the one i heard, many issues can be brought up because of this matter. the political issues also might be involved. the JPA in KL also disagree with the proposal of diminishing JPA in Sarawak. because when the department in sarawak been shirnked, the kl department will received all the comments.

i donno what the government's intention about this. there must be something that i couldnt see and maybe there are other things that government want to do with sarawak. so now, my mum will transfer to another new workplace.. left me here alone..

mun dolok ak nganok pak uban ya, sorilah. ad bagusnya juak ko still cya. except benda2 yg ak rsa xlu pdh ctok.

today is 1 August and also 1 Ramadhan. first day fasting. and today is also my busiest day in this company. i have two bosses and one supervisor. all three gave me a task continuously. first, mr. J. he gave me a list and i have to check the end value of that tender. is it same or not.

then, ms. A. asked me to update the outgoing and incoming letters for this ongoing project. after that, mr. A. gave me one weird task. something with scope of work of the project. i think so..

due to fasting month, mr. J said our office hours is from 8.30am to 4.30 pm...... hehe.. however, the next door company, finish at 4 pm......... huhu...

btw, i had a great day today. i finished all my work except the scope of work which i dont have any idea how to do it. i'll do it tomorrow.

so, that's it for today... c u later.. sleepy... owh. before its 2 late....... SELAMAT BERPUASA KPD SESIAPA YANG BERPUASA!!!!!

ok, i'm done. byee..

today, i am having my lunch alone since my dad and mum has something to do. i called my friend to pick me up, but she cant.. she doesnt have a car to pick me. so this is my story...

today's lunch was... i walked alone from my work place to kfc. i ate snack plate with my lappy, watching gossip girl. everyone was looking at me, but i dont care. after i finished my lunch, i went for window shopping. i was looking for the sandal that i saw last month at hopoh, but i didnt find it anywhere except there. this weekend, i'm totally gonna buy that sandal. huh. and a brand new shoes.

haa.. my work today was becoming a translator for my boss. but it was not easy you know... hahaha.. of cause i get help from the thing called internet. hehehe...

just now, while i stepped in to the office, a lady called me and asked me to fill one form. first, i taught the company form, but it turns out her daughter's project. geography i think. haa... so funny, these kids need to be taught to do their own work. if not, the parents will become the victims. i donno what to say, now and then is different. so the people also different..

the big dilemma between stay in cbg or accept the new job as an engineer has been decided last week. about half an hour i change my mind from quitting and choose to stay in the training program.

before this, i had decided to quit both of my choices, however as always... my super cool dad... brainwash my super genius brain and he did it again. changing my mind from quitting. i dont know how he does that, but he did change my mind.

plus, he gave one good advice while we were still on the motocycle, he said,'dont easily influenced by others cause u never know them'

so, here i am working without salary, n just allowance..

i have sumthing to write here but i am in hurry now, i'll update later..

bye. cya!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa............................. i really dont have time to blog! ahhh... this is because i am working from 8.30 until 5.. monday to friday, saturday maybe sunday break. aahhhhh.... this is so tiring.

here, let me tell u how i got the job. first, my cousin asked me to register for cbg (capacity building for graduate) this cbg thing will help u to find any vacancy in any company private or government. then, place u to that agency. so, i register by sending an email to that cbg.

then, after a week, they called me and asked me to send my resume and all the certs to them. so, the next day after i got the called, i sent the thing they want.

after that, 2 days later.... i got a called from them and told me that there is a vacancy in one construction company. they only give me 30 minutes to decide whether i want the job or not. lastly, i took it after i talked with my boss..

just imagine, on wed i sent that resume, on friday i got the called and i have to report to the company on next monday. i feel so mixed up cause i have not expected all this in few days... i am shocked.

aa... to treat my shockness, my bro, my sister and i went for midnight movie. watching harry potter in 3D. and it was awesomeeeee!!! u guys should watch it.

owh, ok, back to the job.. on the first day in the new company, there is one guy that also been sent by cbg. so, there are two of us from cbg. we had our first meeting with the big boss and he offered us to become a permanent staff there. but with loww salary cause we have no experience at all. i didnt give any answer yet. i am still thinking about this promotion..

haa... so that is how i got my job rite now... ahhh... so many mosquitoes la here, i'll update again later. c ya!

owh, based on the last last post, which i posted on 1 july.. today is 12 july and i have a lot to tell.

on 27th june, i had been offered the administrative assistant job. since i have no job at all and no respond for my application, i just took the job. the job is simple. i need to do the database for the company, paper work for the program, and letterssss.......... many kind of letters. hahahah... i'm working 20 hours per week with rmxxx per month. i think its worth it or more worth it actually.

but, of course i'm still searching for the better job and hopefully i can use my degree.. *finger cross*. i did applied for job in miri and training in cbg. but, my head dont really like the cbg thing.... i probably prefer not working with the government right now. i have my own mission in life.

my previous weeks had been filled with thousand of laughter...:)))))))) not else by my favorite person, bintang!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhaahhaaha... she made me laugh everyday and every minutes. hahaha.. although she said that actually i am the one that made she laugh out loud. watching her smile and laugh everytime i make the 'face' or say something ridiculous just made my day.

today my sister become my boss and i am her driver. i treated her as my boss. u know, i opened and closed the door for her. she's really enjoyed it though. so did i.. hehehe...

i am so tired today since i woke up late and i arrived 5 minutes late at the office. as i sampe at the office, my boss was in my room waiting for me.. huhu... scary. and she just said that i need to prepare 19 letters 4 the list she gave me earlier (day b4 yesterday). then, she want me to update about the proposal and the government letter... hurmm... i did managed to finish the 19 letters cause it was copy and paste... the proposal, i told her i need some time to finish it up. then i had lunch with my bosses. huhu.. i have to eat a lot since my bosses want me to have it.

then, i sent my friend to the airport.. at first, she said her flight was 4.10 pm and by the time i want to fetch her, its already 2.30 pm.. if u always take an airplane, u know how late u r now.. but then, she said her flight was actually at 4.25 pm.. n i sempat sent her to the airport.. fuhh...

hah, my day din finish here, since fina will be going to kl tomorrow, i just want to spend some time with her. so, we went for karaoke cause yesterday we din make it. i love karaoke with her as i can sing whatever song i want. hahahah... we love to sing kelly clarkson's song. hehe.. that night just a nice goodbye for me to her. hope to see u again! hey, i havent see your dress!

ahaa.... u must think i will finish here.. no no no... i am not wrapped it now. at home, my little cousin was actually waiting for me.. awww... so sweet... so, i have to play with him. after that, i need to send him back to his house. but he doesnt want to.. he said he want to sleep with me here. i have to bribe him and said, we'll play again tomorrow and now u have to go home. after several minutes, he said ok.. so, i sent him back home.

after that, i thought i just want to go upstairs and sleep. but, i spend some time with my family instead. we watched Imam Muda and having fun together. i saw my mum fried some mee hoon for dinner. i 'swooped' all of it although i already had my meal. hehe.. the mee hoon was nice.

aaaaa then, i had some conflict with my feelings. and now it just recovering.. after all that, i surely can say i had a full day with full tummy too... hahahaha...

that's all folks. i had to go. c u latter!

i had enough of your attitude. its freaking annoying as much as i can stand it. what do u want me to do? if i said i will, i will. and uuu... just shut me down. what the hell??? i just freakin hate it, u know!!!!

aaaaaaaaaaaa............. why oh why... is this who u r? if yes, i dont know what to say. if not, i hope i can find the reason why u been treating me like this.

sometimes, i feel like stranger to u and i dont know who u r. i cant see u anymore, and u did said something to me which make me feel soooooooooo bad. i just hope i can accept this new environment..

today, my day just went like hell! i have a long day with stomachache. i went to the toilet for almost 20 times today. it felt terrible. then, my sister said that maybe i had diarrhea..

i couldnt eat properly, after i ate samthing, i must go to do my business. its tiring..........

thanks to my sis cause she does all the housework today.... sapu umah, jemo bju,

kmas dapo, lipat bju. cook nugget for me and others..

for half of the day, i just sleep in front of the tv. thank God, now i can eat and walking around. but,

my tummy still aching. hope tomorrow my stomach will be ok cause i have something important to do.

wish me luck and i think i have to leave now, my tummy 'speaking...'

i just arrived at my home around 1 o'clock in the morning. and i got a text that the result is already come out. i cant sit down properly for the breakfast cause i really want to know my result. and then.. from the inside, my heart screaming like crazy but from the outside, i am smiling like crazy. finish up my breakfast and keep on smiling...

OMG!! thanks to Allah... syukur alhamdullilah.. i never thought that my dream can come true and it really come true for the last semester.. i cant imagine how i can do that. of course i didnt do it alone. thanks to my family and all my friends. i just feel this news was beyond my expectation..

although the result is not good for some people, but for me, it was really good and i know i already give my best shot. i really appreciate it so much. it shows that all my hard works and my tears are all paid off.

it feels sooo good when the result is still 3 pointer, bcoz my result before this was unstable and the feeling of wondering whether the result will drop in the last semester is very painful. with all the scary exams and projects, i had taught that i can never make it with the second class upper for graduation. but, i did it. plus, i passes my autocad exam. this just like an add-on happiness for me.

just now, i went jln2 with a very 'old' fren of mine afina. hahahah... it seems four years just not enough for us to date. hahahah... we both were in excited state and mind blowing about the result. so, we go out to chill the adrenaline rush in our body. hahahaah... sharing this with her is a good idea coz i think only she knows the pain and trouble i've been through. btw, i dont have to tell everything coz she knows the up and down, the good and bad moments we share together already paid off with this result. for a while, we just enjoyed the great feeling ever...

owh, i'll tell the story about my vacation later la.. with pics if i rajin. hehhe.. off to go. bye!

oookaaayyyyyyy........ its been a long break since the last post. sorry readers. i dont have the time and mood to write my story here.. so, i will just wrap all the thing off and the details i'll tell later since i will be here for a very long time..

first, the last day of degree, celebrate at KFC with afina and jamie.

then, i had my 1 week holiday with my sister and family. n, i never had a chance to meet her a.k.a wak..

went to 3P program, autoCAD course to get associate certificate. i have a lot to tell for this topic. many things happen from the first till the last day.

- spending time for the last time at johnny's with afina.

-outing at the beach and seafood. we accidentally went to the morib beach and it was nice.. i also bought a kite...:)

- interview at kompleks akademik organized by cpc upm. thanks upm, but i din get the job.

heheh.. the important things is the experience...

-the vacation at sunway with salwa and afina. have some 'fun' with the foreigners and orang putih yang hot. hahahahhahaha... then, dinner at flaming.

-then, the silly drama. which i dont see whats the point of the drama.. wasting time and energy. bitch! i'll definitely will tell some story about this drama. because it was very lame and i dont think i can forget about it.

after that, i am going back to nilai for a week. and went to kenduri kawen kazen angkat at kuala selangor.

the drama happen while i want to check in my luggage. this, i never done it before and thanks to fireflyz, i did it. and suddenly, i think i am silly and unprepared..

and now, i am at my home sweet home.... but tomorrow, i have to wake up early coz my holiday continues!!!!!!!!!!!! my family and i will having a trip to miri and brunei for 5 days... cant wait!.

so i guess, i have to leave now, i will write again. and filled u with other stories and details for the sub topic above. ok, see ya! and gud nite..

i couldnt sleep tonite. i dont know why. maybe because i havent finish studying for the final or its about my thesis. this thesis thing does make me feel bad for a moment. just for a moment, because i still dont know what my grade is. and if, there are some mistakes in the thesis, after this, i dont know what will happen 2 me.



so, i have to entertain myself. if not, i couldnt start studying. so, i watch stand up comedy. and its funny. russell is one of them. he is hilarious. eddie is not bad. daniel too. kumar, omg.. hahaha.. i couldnt stop laughing until now. i think i have my mood back. :p


but, tomorrow, i have to wake up early. so, i guess i must sleep now. i can continue watching it after my thesis and final is done.

see ya!

i have a mood swing today. not that bad, just a little windy.

now, i cant to anything, that thing already happen, just hoping for the best tomorrow.

insyaAllah.. there is nothing. i really hope i can do it tomorrow.

okayyy.... watching pokemon before going to sleep is not a good idea and i did it.

ahh... of course i did it, if not, i wouldnt say this. all the pokemon and league's arena come into my dream. in the dream, i have to sneak in the orange arena because everyone is looking for pokemon name Dragonite, if u watch pokemon, then u know. i eventually, dont have any pokemon with me. dont know why. after that.. what a..? i x ingt la.. adusss.. but, its ok. the main point is there. heheh...

i have final tomorrow, bye, off to study.

i feel like i want to scream at this moment. my chest is trying too hard to get all the oxygen that i need.

urrghh... i'm stupid! where is all my money go? its all gone. totally gone. from four figures to two figures. wth! this is fucking scary...

i like the way when i dont like to shop or buy things, cause my money will always there. but, now, the scary thing is, i am enjoying buying things. i walk, then i like that stuff, i buy it. without hesitation. as my mom and my brother would say:

'bli jak la. bkn abis pun duit ktk ya..'
'xda duit kah? mun mok mkn, bli jak. lak bank in'

all this talk.... makes my guard toward my own money down. i dont even care about it anymore, cause i think, i will always have it. but, it is not. i am completely broke! not just broke, i am bankrupt.

i'll take it back, for everything that i said to someone about, money is not a problem. i think, its karma, now i have money problem. omg.. i never felt so insecure like this. it is not the best feeling ever.........


i am sorry to my little sister, cause u have to listen to me about all this, but, thanks to u cause give me a 'brilliant' comment about how do i handle my money.

then, just now u have to listen i am yelling about the luggage that i want to bring. sory again, i know u want to give ur opinion, but leave this thing to me. its just not a right time for u to lecture me. some other time maybe. i am not mad, just x puas ati.

i have other priority now. my fyp and final. i cant stand any other things now. i am tired. i'll think about it later. but, dont worry, i will be going home soon. and we will have our vacation. ok.

when the time i want to go home, i cant.

fucking S!!!!!!!!

i hate yahoo!!!!


when the time i really need u, u will lagging, cant open, error, take too long to respond and many more. what??


c'mon... give me a break here yahoo... i have to do my assignment. can u please give some favor for me... please2..... i'm begging u....


oh man..!! google too???? what are u trying to do to me? i really need to open the mail............. really2...

give me something good.........

last night, i dreamed about my TOCIE result. i got 2.8 or 2.6 like that.. i couldnt remember much.

but, the truth is, i havent check my result yet. i couldnt open the smp website. i tried to open it since yesterday. and i cannot open it. so, i guess i try too hard to know my result, then i got it from the dream.. but, in the dream, i am the lowest among my other friend. sad....:(

the moment i know it was the dream is when, i saw the result and it was in decimal. i wonder.. can it be in decimal. up until now, i still dont know my result... maybe after my presentation later..

i have something to say....

I MISS MY 'BINTANG' so much.......

i cant wait to go home.... but, i still have to stay here until end of may.

last time we met each other was last year.. and if my math is right, its about 7 months and 4 days we havent meet and see each other.

and last time i'm in my house was on 31 dec 2010. so it about 4 months i am not going back.

this sem is crucial. but, after last seven sems with hectic and stress, i think i am less stress this sem. i am stress, but i still can enjoy my miserable life.

it is true when old people says ' alah bisa tegal biasa'..

i have presentation to prepare. so, see ya!

after typing almost seven reaction papers today.. i feel nauseous.. tomorrow, i want to go out. have something to buy. but, before that, i have to finish up the 14 reaction papers before going out.

gees... my laptop is panas........ but, after i lap with baby wipes, nya cool blit dah. dont ever2 put ur laptop atas pillow. not a very good idea. atas kaki xpa, not pillow. cause the degree of hotness is higher when nya atas pillow compare to atas kaki.

watching 'taken in broad daylight' now. this movie makes me afraid to go out alone. cause the movie is based on the true story and that girl been abducted in the broad daylight outside of the mall at parking area. no one is going to help her while she's screaming for help..

its just scary cause i used to go out alone and walk at the mall alone.. plus, i want to go out tomorrow.. now, i dont know whether i want to go out or not...

we'll see tomorrow. now, i think, i want to continue my works. bye!

'i love u..' i really want to give this phrase to someone. but, i dont know who is the one. i still dont know what this three words can offer. if u give it to your friend, they think u remember them, if u give it to your siblings, they think u r crazy, if u give it to your parent, they will just say 'ok, do u wanna go home?'. and if u give it to someone special, i dont know yet.

everytime i'm alone, and see people with their love one, i feel like i'm a loser. i dont want to be in the relationship coz i know it is hard and a lot of challenges. i dont know whether i can make it or not. i know who i am and i am not an easy person to understand with. i am easy to know, but hardly to understand. actually, all people are hardly to understand.... -_-

yesterday was very tired for me. doing the two project simultaneously. my head feels like cracking! i want to go out!!!!!!!!! like seriously going for vacation! i just have to pass through my fyp presentation and my final exam! one month, just one month left!


i want to sleep early tonite.. cause i am too tired... not having enough sleep is very not good for your health and mood.

so, i think, i better sleep......... gud nite people.

wow... its a been loooooooooooog time since the last post. i really dont have much time to update anything here coz i have like mountains of other works. i am really disappointed with myself recently. my feelings are not stable and swinging like a typhoon.


i am so tired this past few days. my presentation for the capstone is not good. i know i can do better that dat. i hate when i have this bad memories.... my policy is even worst. i havent start my penilaian individu. the reaction paper......... i dont know how 2 complete all the tasks now. the fyp is confusing..... i dont know what to say in the discussion.. omg.. i am doom........


before that, i am very thankful to her, cause without her, i couldnt move my fingers to start typing my works.

other than that, i am very thankful coz i have her beside me everytime i think i wanna fall down.
she will try to 'kutip' me back and let me sit down and then stand up straight again. she is awesome.

but, i wont tell in front of her cooz she wont believe me, hahahahah.. i refuse to tell in front of her, cause later she will forget that she is awesome. so, i rather wrote here, so she knows and always knows that she is an awesome friend.

i read something and it says... ' the way I are...'


its just wrong............ and awkward.

sometimes i feel, better to be bad in the first place. and then, change to a good guy.

it's not that i am good... its juz, i dont feel that i am changing to a better person.

after i watched this one malay movie, i have too many things to say.
- movie tok show rkyt mlaysia jahil glak.
- over in acting and also the script
- lawak xjd
- storyline boring
- the one i xpt accept is belakon minum beer. xplu mok pake botol nya skali. pake gelas dh ckp....-_- (i memg x stuju part tok)
- malu mok crik ilmu agma (whatt??)
- line yg xpt lupak ' confirm x msk neraka'.

- ad la len2 gik yg agak sensitif.....

i really dont agree with this movie. i dont like it. even though byk org ska. this movie byk glak tunjuk kelemahan org mlayu especially, rkyt msia generally. wlpn citanya polh org jaik jd bait, tp its just inappropriate, in my point of view la..

plus, org akn ekot ap yg lm movie or favorite actor daknya polh. n if they end up jd bait as dlm movie, it will be very good but if not, it could be disaster....

i just dont like this movie at all....

OMG!!!! i asked the same question twice!! and u din even bother to answer it? dont u dare said u din hear it, i know u do. and then, after i asked for the second time, u suddenly gave me the conclusion. hellooooooooowwwwwwwwwww........... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! who the hell r u that decide my decision. its my money and u dont have any right to say that!

F@#%ing S!!!!!!!!!!! why am i so naive...... do u really din hear what i just asked u that time??????? really?????????? omg. i cannot forget about this. really, i cant.

and now, how am i suppose to do? was this my fault? really??? i cant believe what i just heard from u just now. my heart stop beating for a sec or 2. i donno, maybe.. but i stunned. and u............. giving me ur pretty little cute face and lazy voice..... aaarrghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

i feel like crying..... btw, its not for u, but i just cant really say it, after what u have said to me.

it starts again. the thinking.think about the policy class and of cause the lecturer. once, i start thinking about this, it will never stop. until someone or sumthing disturb me more than the thinking issues.

but now, even fyp thing also cant replace my thinking. i need to think about my fyp or other assignments or test. its tired to think about the thing that is not technical. my head is full of this non theoretical things. and all 'why' question come out frm my head.

i hate this, bcoz it is not the right time to think of all this things. but, is there any right time to think about all this think? i also have no idea. so, i think, i just screwed.

its been a long time i start to think again. because, most of the time, i will go with the flow. i will think when there is problem to solve or think other things to cover the problem.

i dont have time to sit down and think. for me its just waste of time. but, after i started to think again, i realize that i missed so many things. cause i choose to ignore everything, i din know much of what happen around me. ignoring things is easier than thinking the solution. and now, i regret it.

so, is thinking a problem? i think u should think it yourself...

thanks to this class because let me think again...

i have to start typing my reaction paper tonite, but instead, i watch anime and blogging. aish.. i was very2 sleepy this morning coz i slept only for 2 to 3 hours last nite. the foundation design really get into me this time. i like the class. i wont skip any of his class again. bcoz of 1 class that i skipped last 2 weeks, i am totally lost. that is why he doesn't like student escape his class..

after the class, i went to sleep for almost 4 hours after that. but, i think its just too much.... i feel tired and lazy. hahha..

owh, gtg, i want to continue watching the law of ueki now, bye.

i just received couple of very good news today and it was awesome. hehe...

- my dad told me if i wanna go home, just buy the ticket. as long as the tickets are cheaper than normal.

- my girlfriend will be at bangi for her training this march until may.

i am so excited! but, maybe not the ticket, coz i have zillion works that never ends here. n for the return, i can meet her.... :)

i really hope i can meet her coz the last few weeks are not delightful at all..

hello..!!!

i miss u... a lot. i mean. a lot, a lot... everytime when i'm alone, u r always here for me. although sometimes its just about u, i dont care, as long as i can hear u. its more than enough..


its been 6 months and 8 days i havent meet u... wah... i couldnt believe it. its been a long time... no wonder i miss u so much.


i know u wont read this, except i told u 2. but, nevermind... i know u miss me. hahaaa... i just cant wait to finish this and meet u soon. its gonna be awesome and great.:D


just wait for me and i'll be there. u r the one most wanted person i wanna meet!


alaaa.....i have to go now, i have a test tomorrow, blom study abis. so, pray for me k. luv u so much! bye2!

everyone that i think nice, suddenly would become a total a-hole super idiot bloody fool power of seven! i donno why..... u guys a very selfish more than anyone could imagine.

i just freakin tired too make ur life easy and instead my life miserable. but now, i couldnt say more coz its already happen. and i have too clean ur mess to make sure evryone are happy.

thank God i am positive now. thinking make me wiser and better. hopefully, i can stay with it.

i dont have enough sleep last nite coz of ur selfishness. and now, u r wasting my time coz of ur selfishness also. can u see... u r ruining my life. i have many other things to do and because of u, i have to struggle harder with my own problem.

i dont understand why cant u think. u have the brain, use it moron! it will be a waste if u have it but din use it.

for myself, stop mumbling and get your job done in time. u dont have enough time to do all of it if u cant stop blabbering here.

pace urself and do ur best.

ahaaaa.... after smyg td, tbe2 teringt insiden ni.

hari rabu mlm, ad klas dri jam 6 sampai 10 lebih. this moment happen around 8, 8.10 pm. masa 2, rehat sampai kol 8.30 mlm, sy n fina nk pg bli air je kot... tp, xjadi sbb tgok ad kedai jual mknn dkt2 area 2. so, ktorg decide nk mkn la, sbb ad 20 minit lg. jln2... oder 2 laksa penang.


nk d jdkn cerita, 'abg' yg wat mee ktrog ni lmbt la plak... tunggu punya tunggu siap jugk mknn ni, tp.. msa rehat dh nk abis. terpaksa la mkn rushing2. dh la mee 2 x sdap. mcm mkn mee ngn air kosong tp pedas..-_-


mkn laju gler, x sempat nk kunyah abis2..dh la mlm... kurang jelas la pemandangan mlm 2.. so, sume yg ad dlm 2, daun tah pape die letak, suma telan. cili jgn ckap la...


dh lpas setengah mee 2 kne mkn.. tgok cili sume floating mcm kapal perang. seram2... tp, mkn jugak. dh lapa sngt. mcm 2 la jd ny.


time dh nk abis mknn 2, tbe2 perasan samting yg aneh.. dlm kepala 'aik? mane limau?' baru perasan yg limau hilang. sbb tgk kt meja fina pnya ad je.. rpe2ny... time tgh rushing2 mkn td, dgn limau2 skali ak bantai trus.. hahahahahahah.....



nnn.. ktorg sempat dtg ke klas blek b4 8.30.. ad dlm beberapa minit lg. tp, mulut dh mcm angelina jolie daaa. hahahahahhaha... xpe, at least x ngtok dh dlm klas 2.:p


p/s: msa mkn 2, tgok2 la ap bnd yg d mkn.. klau x, len pulak bnda yg msk nnt. hehe..

this last couple of days was very tiring. add on with the damn annoying holidays. i dont have any energy to talk about what happened last week. and now, i cant sleep coz tooo tired. my body feel stress and my mind clumsy. things that make me tired:

- fyp of course
- reading journals and articles
- thinking about all things (and seriously i cant stop thinking)
- less work out (become lazier and lazy again)
- my ngarei room also can make me tired.

now is 4.25 a.m and i am still awake. i donno when i am going to bed. still working. its ok, i dont have any class 4 tomorrow..
continue my work and watching grey's.







btw, this is for u, i am tired of u being ignorance. and now, i cant wait 4 u anymore, i just cant. u choose ur ignorant over me, and i'm not accepting it.

yesterday, i went out. the plan is panjat pagar blkg ya and walk to ss. but, time mok climb gate blkg ya, there are people watching me. so, of course i turun and go back. -_-


tetapi, i really want to go out. it so depressing in the room for whole time. that is why i need to go out. but then, its raining. so, i took a bus and go inside. then, walk from old flat to ss. nasib the rain slow down while i'm walking. so, there is nothing.


i spent around rm50+ on food and my things. and now i'm broke. huhu..


and so, tomorrow i need to get out of here. if not, i will suffer in boredom and anorexia. i dont have any intention to get either of it.


life never easy, grab that flag and slide down.

Today, I got a roommate.

My roommate is a beetle. A nice big bug that’s suddenly came into my room. At first, I taught he’s dead. But after I touched him, he’s moving and slowly I told him, ‘u can stay here if u want 2’. Then, he stops moving and just stay there. Until now even. I just assume that the bug is male, coz I can’t imagine a female bug. Hehe.. can u?

approximate 12 hours later,

however.... when i am ready to go to the dreamland, he started to fly all around my room. i dont know why. maybe he doesn't like dark room. coz he starts to fly like crazy right after i switched off the light. and now, my roommate is gone. i just have to let him go.

gud bye buggy. nice to meet u today.

i'll share something about women. most of it is for mother. for our mother. and insyaAllah, we will become a good mother.



1. Doa perempuan lebih makbul daripada lelaki kerana sifat penyayangnya yang lebih kuat daripada lelaki. Ketika ditanya kepada Rasulullah s.a.w. akan hal tersebut, jawab Baginda s.a.w., "Ibu lebih penyayang daripada bapa dan doa orang yang penyayang tidak akan sia-sia".

2. Apabila seseorang perempuan mengandung janin dalam rahimnya, maka beristighfarlah para malaikat untuknya. Allah s.w.t. mencatatkan baginya setiap hari dengan 1,000 kebajikan dan menghapuskan darinya 1,000 kejahatan.

3. Apabila seseorang perempuan mulai sakit hendak bersalin, maka Allah s.w.t. mencatatkan baginya pahala orang yang berjihad pada jalan Allah s.w.t.

4. Apabila seseorang perempuan melahirkan anak, keluarlah dia dari dosa-dosa seperti keadaan ibunya melahirkannya.

5. Apabila telah lahir anak lalu disusui, maka bagi ibu itu setiap satu tegukan daripada susunya diberi satu kebajikan.

6. Apabila semalaman ibu tidak tidur dan memelihara anaknya yang sakit, maka Allah s.w.t. memberinya pahala seperti memerdekakan 70 hamba dengan ikhlas untuk membela agama Allah s.w.t.

7. Barangsiapa yang menggembirakan anak perempuannya, darjatnya seumpama orang yang sentiasa menangis kerana takutkan Allah s.w.t. dan orang yang takutkan Allah s.w.t., akan diharamkan api neraka ke atas tubuhnya.

8. Barangsiapa membawa hadiah, (barang makanan dari pasar ke rumah lalu diberikan kepada keluarganya, maka pahalanya seperti bersedekah). Hendaklah mendahulukan anak perempuan daripada anak lelaki. Maka barangsiapa yang menyukakan anak perempuan seolah-olah dia memerdekakan anak Nabi Ismail.

9. Tiap perempuan yang menolong suaminya dalam urusan agama, maka Allah s.w.t. memasukkan dia ke dalam syurga lebih dahulu daripada suaminya (10,000 tahun).

10. Perempuan apabila sembahyang lima waktu, puasa bulan Ramadhan, memelihara kehormatannya serta taat akan suaminya, masuklah dia dari pintu syurga mana sahaja yang dikehendaki.

11. Wanita yang solehah (baik) itu lebih baik daripada 1,000 lelaki yang soleh.

12. Aisyah berkata, "Aku bertanya kepada Rasulullah s.a.w, siapakah yang lebih besar haknya terhadap wanita? Jawab Rasulullah s.a.w., "Suaminya". "Siapa pula berhak terhadap lelaki?" Jawab Rasulullah s.a.w, "Ibunya".

13. Apabila memanggil akan engkau dua orang ibubapamu, maka jawablah panggilan ibumu dahulu.

14. Wanita yang taat akan suaminya, semua ikan-ikan di laut, burung di udara, malaikat di langit, matahari dan bulan semua beristighfar baginya selama mana dia taat kepada suaminya serta menjaga sembahyang dan puasanya.

15. Wanita yang taat berkhidmat kepada suaminya akan tertutup pintu-pintu neraka dan terbuka pintu-pintu syurga. Masuklah dari mana-mana pintu yang dia kehendaki dengan tidak dihisab.

16. Syurga itu di bawah tapak kaki ibu.

17. Wanita yang tinggal bersama anak-anaknya akan tinggal bersama aku (Nabi s.a.w) di dalam syurga.

18. Barangsiapa mempunyai tiga anak perempuan atau tiga saudara perempuan atau dua anak perempuan atau dua saudara perempuan lalu dia bersikap ihsan dalam pergaulan dengan mereka dan mendidik mereka dengan penuh rasa takwa serta bertanggungjawab, maka baginya syurga.

19. Daripada Aisyah r.a. "Barangsiapa yang diuji dengan sesuatu daripada anak-anak perempuan lalu dia berbuat baik kepada mereka, maka mereka akan menjadi penghalang baginya daripada api neraka."

I am bored. I am all alone here. No roommate to chat, no friends to talk, no boys to play with. I just wish I have a car or a bike right now. So, I can go anywhere I want although I might be lost somewhere... but don’t worry, no one care, nobody cares.

I don’t believe this either, I miss driving. I miss it a lot. Although I have said I hate being a driver, but actually at this moment, I miss it like crazy. I miss to be someone’s driver. The reason I hate to be a driver not because I don’t like to drive or become a driver. What am I saying??? Forget it. I hate being a driver because I do not know the road. I don’t know where to go and it sucks. That is why I don’t like driving.

However.. I may said I hate it, and it’s just because I am tired being used. Don’t use me as a driver, I can be your driver as happy as I like the driving, but don’t ever2 use me. i like to help, my pleasure to help but don’t make me as a puppet. i have feelings u know. just because of this, I told other people I don’t like driving.

So, I want that freakin car!!!!! But, I know I wont have it here. And so now, I want that folding bike so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want it and I want it badly….