where you go

i feel like i want to scream at this moment. my chest is trying too hard to get all the oxygen that i need.

urrghh... i'm stupid! where is all my money go? its all gone. totally gone. from four figures to two figures. wth! this is fucking scary...

i like the way when i dont like to shop or buy things, cause my money will always there. but, now, the scary thing is, i am enjoying buying things. i walk, then i like that stuff, i buy it. without hesitation. as my mom and my brother would say:

'bli jak la. bkn abis pun duit ktk ya..'
'xda duit kah? mun mok mkn, bli jak. lak bank in'

all this talk.... makes my guard toward my own money down. i dont even care about it anymore, cause i think, i will always have it. but, it is not. i am completely broke! not just broke, i am bankrupt.

i'll take it back, for everything that i said to someone about, money is not a problem. i think, its karma, now i have money problem. omg.. i never felt so insecure like this. it is not the best feeling ever.........


i am sorry to my little sister, cause u have to listen to me about all this, but, thanks to u cause give me a 'brilliant' comment about how do i handle my money.

then, just now u have to listen i am yelling about the luggage that i want to bring. sory again, i know u want to give ur opinion, but leave this thing to me. its just not a right time for u to lecture me. some other time maybe. i am not mad, just x puas ati.

i have other priority now. my fyp and final. i cant stand any other things now. i am tired. i'll think about it later. but, dont worry, i will be going home soon. and we will have our vacation. ok.