I dont know what is happening inside me. i suddenly become self annoyed and everything become wrong. I am trying not to be angry and trying so hard to figure out why am i behaving that way. i have no idea. and again.. i am hurting the person i love. i am very frustated with myself and I know am always not good enough.. some people say, outrage kid is because lack of love. am i that? but as i know. i am loved enough with all my surrounding. its just there are something bothering me. which i also didnt know what is it.

maybe, its my fault after all..

Sometimes.. people are selfish. its not directly show that he or she was selfish, but its just indirectly. If you known this person, they will always talk about something or someone. Then, they will give their own opinion on what, how, why of that situation. Later they didnt realize... they are doing the same thing that they 'commenting' to somebody else... so, for me.... we are just the same. and karma does exist. what comes around, goes around...sq

Hello there,

I just want to write something that is inside my brain. My ommpa lommpa might found this thing locked somewhere while doing some maintenance in the brain. They found it at the corner and a bit dusty on top.

That is my feeling which i locked in the pandora box. Feeling is the most scary things in the world yet the most beautiful things ever... I locked it because i dont want to get involve in any feeling's matter. Its tiring for my mental and emotion.

I am an enginner and my work is more to solve the problem. although the problem is not mine. I have to solve it so that i can move on. However, it depends on how the person with that problem take my advise.. Sometimes, I will feel frustrated and useless if i cant do anything to fix or solve the problem.. Although actually that person did not really need an advise. they just need a channel to potray their feeling and the channel is me..

I am okay to be someone's channel. but sometimes, I also need my own channel for me to potray my feeling.. and I dont have that now...

Hello there.. anyone. especially you, my honey bee.. 😚

Suddenly I feel that I need to blog this thing. Before I forgot all the details. ahahaha.. 😁

This post is about that demanding lady from KL. Remember her..? ahahha.. I bet you do. 😂😂 Okay. here we go.

Since that day, she lives in that house alone 👀. No one wants to accompany her because of what she did and other factor as well as security, traffic jam and that place itself looks spooky. 💁

So last month, my two friends.. are helping hand to find a different place, which is less spooky, feels a lot like home 🏠, and also near to their office 🏢. Since they are in the same section, and these two also need a place to stay or crash because both of their houses are too far from the office 😧.

Then, after tired of waiting 😥, just last week the new proposed apartment has been approved 😊. Here, the drama begins. ahahaha... 😂.

Lets go back to that demand lady. After she knew that apartment has been approved and she got the key, she already started her demand list 📝.

💥First, she wanted to ask driver to help her to move the washing machine from inside to outside of the house. 😩 (someone said to her we can move it by ourselves, its not that hard...)
💥Second, she did asked about microwave and pot or cooker from our admin. admin said no.. cant demand more. (there is a stove already been provided, just buy a simple pot to cook then.. 😧)
💥Third, she mentioned that there is no place to hang a cloth outside the house such as the place to do your laundry👗. (you are an engineer, think! i feel ashamed being an engineer bcoz of her.. 😬)
💥Fourth, she complaint about the tv... 📺 she said that the screen is smaller then her pc monitor..💻!!!! What?? what???? 😲 omg...!! I had enough! 😤

I cant stand with her demand's list anymore😷. I think if no one asked her to shut... the list will be longer and become more ridiculous! 😨. What the heck man.. why.. why you need to behave like this. I am emotionally tired💆.

STOP DEMANDING!!! 😫. That house is perfect already. very near to the office 🌇, there is no more spooky sound 👂, the security is okay🔐, the house is fully furnished since all the basic appliances are there.. 🏣 what else do you want..!😓 maigad! can you sit for a minute, take a deep breath and just be grateful for what has been provided. not to find what else is not in there and complaint. 😵... jeeeezz... 😬

Enough is enough. please be more matured and think how to survive, not to be survived.. 😶 Life is sometimes unfair but that is life. If life is fair, there is nothing to achieve and strive... 😏

Okay... That is a long post.. I cant write it any longer cause I might puke by myself on thinking of this drama 😷..

Good night b. Hope you enjoy reading my miserable drama.

your beloved 🍎..

Please. just tell me what to do. im stupid enough to take this by myself. Saying that you love me not gonna change the situation. Just tell me what to do...

I dont know what is happening to me.... I dont feel so good. I cant stand the stupid jokes anymore. why.... what is happening now.. There is so many things in my head. But, the main point is.. i cant control the temper. I hate that when i loose control. i'll tend to say some hurtful things which i didnt mean to..

what am i thinking.... i dont know what i actually want. maybe, I want to be happy.. how to happy? i want to be free of debt. i want to be independent. i want my freedom. i want my money increasing. i want to live a full life. i want to take care of my family. i want to be there for anyone i cared. i want to be good in what i do..

i feel so stupid. i am demotivated. i cant keep on thinking like this.. Ya Allah... i may seek your help.. only You know what is happening to me and everything that behind it... please give me peaceful in my heart.. keep me sane in anything i do, keep my parents healthy and great wisdom and also please ease my debt..

I want to be consistance in keeping myself healthy again.. i need to be healthy and happy again. Amirah. please  keep your head up and do not lose hope.. be patience.. everything gonna be okay...

I was so tired today. maybe because of fasting since i havent fasting much lately. so... the hunger is different from usual.

Not much for today's work. i just prepare my minutes for yesterday and now. its in ww's hand. she wants to check everything and maybe she thinks she need to. let her be. if she want to check. just give it to her. i dont give a damn about it.

Another thing that i did for today was the report. this report really took my head of. there is too many conflict about it and i am tired of all that. never ending story. why dont we come up with one solution which can be followed by everyone. most of the staff here is the engineer and engineer suppose to solve the problm. not create the new one.

I wanted to write something but my eyes is really sleepy. i couldnt stand it any longer. so, before my hp slam on to my face, better i put it down first.

so. good night!

I have a mix feeling for today. For some reason, I suddenly felt that I have no one. Its not that I dont have my friend or family. they are still here. always be with me. What i mean is someone that you can tell everything about. when you are happy, or sad, or freakin stress... And of course vise versa.

It sounds like i want to be in a relationship, right? ahahaha. but, no. actually. i dont know. i will turn down all guys that ever came to me. bcoz, there is one feeling that always said, 'do you really want to be with that person?' then, i'll push that guy away.

I cant understand myself either. i do hope someone can help me to understand myself better. before this, i dont have to think who i want to call and share my stories.. i always have someone in mind. however.. now, i have to scroll my contact list and found no one i can call and share my day with... its frustating. but. what to do.. life isnt fair.

I dont feel so good for tonight... Its hard to let go things that you are not ready to let go. But, its okay... all is well.. although life is not fair, Allah will always fair. He knew what is the best and He knew why I need to feel this way... I just have to be patience and have some faith...

Hello there,

Hi again. first of all, i dont know what am i going to write in this post. But, I feel like to write something. Ermm... yes. there is one thing.

I just want to talk about my project here. Lets give it a name... Project S. So, this project s is a very high profile project and soon gonna be the center of attraction for that certain area. However, I cant really think the perks of working in high profile project such as this.

There are too many dramas, too many rumours, too many uncertainties that i am crazy to know. why in such way, i feel very insecure about this project s. in other way, i know this project will be by hook or by crook, will finished. there is no reason it cant. and cant be left out.

The thing that i really dont like is the political issue about this project s. It is too obvious until you can really see where and how it links and who will get all the benefits. For me, all project has its own political issue since the money will comes from the certain sources. And most probably the benefits will go back to where it come from in the first place.

I just want to hope that I can bear with all this matter.. Later, in other post, i'll write about the dramas..

Hi b,

Its been a long time I didnt hear from you. Missing you everytime and everyday.. So, how are you? I hope you are getting better than before. no more crying because of silly things again. ☺

I feel like to write you a letter since we havent text much. hehe.... I almost forgot how we use to be for the last few months last year. This is so true as the old people says, "friendship is not about how long you know the person, its about the memories you have had together". and I think i have the most beautiful memories while with you. ❤

Its 00:38 and I am still wide awake. Although I have my family here.. I have my friends here..  I still feel so alone and bored. I dont know why, but its feel empty. I feel so miserable here with all the dramas and I dont really feel to be in any part of it anymore. 😧

I wish to tell you about my drama but I kinda forget about it since the drama is too ridiculous. okay, 1 story. There is 1 lady from KL, just report duty on Jan'17. She seems okay for a month. However, after that... 😩i couldnt stand with her anymore. i cant even see her face while talking to her. It feels sore to my eyes and mind😷. She is the most demanding, cocky, bossy, stubborn and very annoying person I have ever met.

First, she demanded a company car 🚗. she doesnt want the 2nd hand car, she wanted the new one 🚘, because the new one is arriving soon. Second, she demanded a house🏠. After giving a house, she wanted the furniture especially fridge, washing machine is brand new.🏡 After giving that, she asked us (me and my other 2 friends😫) to be her housemate for the time being since the house is so new.

On th first day, she went to sleepover at my place🚪. Second day, she went to sleepover at my friend's place, because she was too afraid to live alone there 😞. That's why, my two friends went there to accompanied her to that new house 👣 on the third day. I cant go since my dad didnt want me to go (there is a reason why, tell later). Then, that night, when midnight comes, she did literally waking up my friends and begged them to sleep in her room. 😱 reason?? because she was too freakin afraid of the sound she heard outside. OMG.... what!!?? 😲 This is not all and there is a few more things she did to us. The worst thing is waking up someone which is already asleep just bcoz of terrifying of the sound she heard. 😬

There is a drama in my office too but I think I'll write you in another letter. I feel sleepy suddenly after typing all those stories. So, its better for me to go to sleep since tomorrow I have to work.

Thank you for reading this and thank you for coming into my life and put some colour in it.😍 I miss you so much and I hope I can see you again anytime soon. Love you honey!😚

Good night my dear.

Yours beloved,
🍎