Midnight...

I have a mix feeling for today. For some reason, I suddenly felt that I have no one. Its not that I dont have my friend or family. they are still here. always be with me. What i mean is someone that you can tell everything about. when you are happy, or sad, or freakin stress... And of course vise versa.

It sounds like i want to be in a relationship, right? ahahaha. but, no. actually. i dont know. i will turn down all guys that ever came to me. bcoz, there is one feeling that always said, 'do you really want to be with that person?' then, i'll push that guy away.

I cant understand myself either. i do hope someone can help me to understand myself better. before this, i dont have to think who i want to call and share my stories.. i always have someone in mind. however.. now, i have to scroll my contact list and found no one i can call and share my day with... its frustating. but. what to do.. life isnt fair.