Hi. I think its been a century i did not post anything here. Hahha.. *perasan ada reader*. Nevermind..

Today, its been 2 months and 3 weeks i am here working at samur, sipitang sabah. I couldnt felt how fast the time flies.

I never knew I will meet a very different people here. I mean it, different.... In all aspect. Personality, attitude, and of course language.

In here, we work as subcon and our main con is mostly Indonesian and few Japanese. So, the dialect is similar from what we hear in tv but the feeling is different. Hahhaha... What am i mumbling now... What i mean is, it seems like i am not at Malaysia anymore. Felt like different country. Talk with them makes u also talk like them.

Back to our topic. I never knew i can be knowing such a crazy and good frens here. I never knew i can mingle around and felt very comfortable. But, there are also few people with double personalities. I dont really like these people but u still have to smile and act like nothing happen which is not.

Here, i learned how to see people react with work, and also with other people. Some people with excuses.. Some people with empty stories, some are really commited, some just make they own business, some some people just as much as annoying they can be.

I really hope i can learn many things here not just about work, but also about life and people. I hope i can improve my skills and i can be proud to myself..

Nothing much i want to type here coz i just need to get sleepy then sleep. And now, i am sleepy after writing down something *uras* here. Got to go. Write again later.

I feel so lost right now. I dontknow what to think off and i dont know whether i can do it or not.

I hate myself coz cannot really handle this thing properly. I want to be good at all things and i want to be good for myself too.

Right now, there are tonnes of things going on with my life.
- my project uitm is almost finish which is already finish, suppose too.
- i have to transfer at sipitang sabah for new project.
- my site office will be demolished soon and i have to pack all the survey equipment and all the drawings.
- manage 5 chainman which is very hard to do.
- final documentation for all the drawing and survey data.
- sub con still not agree with the final quantity.
- the annoying cns with the emails and questions
- asking question to the no clue person about the site but he is incharge of the site.
- the very much annoyed person talk about black goat and money.
- my transfer date is 26th instead of 1 sept. Hate this very much
- the family day and i couldnt fit with my fav khakis.
- my raya celebration. My raya layer cake.
- interested in japanese class but cant really join the class bcoz of this transfer thingy.
- my head went to haywire and i think my blood pressure are going up.

N now on, i dont think anyone can help me except Almighty Allah... Im seeking ur help to give me strength for me to complete the task smoothly and successfully. Aminn...

haippp... today i'm blogging from my laptop, not on my smartphone, bet smartphone isn't smart enough when come to battery. Time felt much faster by now and everything need to be done immediately. I dont feel the 24 hours a day instead, it feels like just 10 hours. and all of it i spent it on work and office...

Yesterday, I got a hunch to update my details in jobstreet. Maybe its time for me to look a new job since I dont want to stuck here and become a robot. I like staying in the house, eat mommy's and daddy's dishes for free, playing with my cats and kittens, watching astro almost every night and sleep in my own comfortable bedroom. I love all those things, but I have to gain my experience with outside world and join anything in community so that i can learn life is not about work, sleep, tv...

There are many things i want to do in my life, and none of my wish list for 2013 has been completed. Its already July and I really hope I can complete some of my wish list. It needs determination and support from others, but, its ok, I can do it. Just grab that flag and slide down!!!!!! believe in yourself and make sure the intention is right, cause it can really help to decide if need to make a decision.

I just come back from holiday at medan last week and I'll try to post a story about that later. The view is MasyaAllah incredible and amazing...

Hi, I have this friend. She seems different from my other fren. I think we are quite close because almost everyday we'll see each other at work. But, on sunday we will just go with our own separate life.
What i mean by different is, first, she likes to plan everything bcoz she will feel better if she had a plan. It doesnt matter whether the plan will work out or not. For other people, they make plans to make sure all things will go thru smoothly with the plan. Totally different in planning purpose~
Second, she likes too many things. For example, she likes sport expecially basketball, fishing, math, physic, music, poetry (allan poe), orchestra, blackhole, astronomy, drawing or sketching, pool or snooker, swimming, and many more. It is so rare for me to find one person to like so many things which obviously in different angle in life. As if she likes all things except biology and chemisty. She hates them. Totally.
Third, she cant b mad or angry, she will just annoyed and muttering. Just that. In the mean time, she will prank her friend just to make herself feeling better. o_O but, i like it. It makes me feel alive.
Despite on the difference, she can b a friend, motivator, shrink,  colleague, bully, wet blanket,  comedian, story teller, driver and a buddy for me all this time..
There r few things more which she is different from my other frens. But overall, she is normal and fun to be with.. I'm thankful i can be friend with this friend of mine.

I think she is mad at me.. My mum.. Because last night, i come back home at almost 12 am... Earlier that day, she mentioned that she wants to eat outside cause she din cook any for dinner.. I told her that i have a game with my colleague and may come back late for dinner. So, she just bought me a take away..

After the game, i've decided to meet my fren since she will leaving to kl the next day... We had a little chat and stories.... I missed the old time.. Really do...

Then, the thing that make me say she was mad at me is she din really care about me, she din ask anything... Its like a silent punishment. And this morning, she din even talk to me. Usually, she will asked or juz talk anything when i said something.. And yet, she just talking to my dad and make me basically invisible...

Its hurt, and very painful when i know i did made her sad or mad... I really feel that i am not a good daughter for her.. I am not good enough for her to be in the family... I cant decide or divide my time for work, frens and family even myself... And i am very tired... Physically and emotionally.. What should i do.. Tommorow is mother's day and i dont want to ruin it...

Hello there...

This moment, i just wanna say that i am very sorry really deeply sorry about tonite's incident..

I have no intention to run over the poor, afraid and cold frog at the road while im driving back from work... Im trying to dodge them but there is nothing else i can do... I had killed two hopeless frog tonite and i am very sorry about that.

Maybe the frogs just had to be died today on my present at that location. I couldnt say much because it already happen and they are obviously dead... I just want every frog knows that it is not my intention to kill them.. It was an accident.. Tragic accident... I am very sorry for their losses...

*pity the living, not the dead because the living need to move on for their life* - Prof. Dumbledore

Ahooyyy...

Haaa... I am agree with qoute 'legends are lesson'- brave-

Man are predictable.. They r rasional n logic. But, for those who arent, its quite hard to understand.. Just like woman.

I personally cant understand myself.. Haaa... If u know what i mean... I couldnt decide what to follow.. Brain or heart.. It feels some sort of battle inside of me. And after a few hours, im tired and then i just go with the flow.. Hahah..

Truly, i dont know what actually im gonna wrote here.. I just want to say something here.. Owh. I remember...

I am done with u. Please dont chase me anymore.. I cant accept u as what u need me to. So, let just be frens or whatever u want it and let the nature decide..

I'll missed ur text but i dont missed u. I'll missed the fight i have with myself because of u, but i dont want u to stay in. Its complicated and i am done with all this. Thank u for all the memories, and all the thing that u have given me.

U make me realize something about myself and i want to thank u for that. I forgive what u have done to me, and i hope u forgive me too. I am not the best for u and i hope u will find her soon.

Hi there... Yup, its me again...

Lately i dont feel like myself. There are something in my chest that i want to let it out... But, it still stay there n wondering around. I couldnt let it out coz i dont really know what it is.. I think there is a hole in my heart which need to be heal.

Not that my heart was broken or hurt... Its just feel empty n i have to fill it with something. Feeling lost is the worse feeling ever.. U donno what u want, what u need, what u think, and worst, u donno what u r... Everything seems wrong and not right.

I hope i can heal myself and be as i want me to b. I hope this is only a phase in life that i have to go through.. I really hope so....

I dont know what happened to me just now. Suddenly all the hormones ans emotion thingy covered all around me. This is suck. And i need to go out of here!!

Why.... Why should i be so attached to someone right now... And later that person will leave. I cant fall apart.. Not now.. My company needs me.. So, wipe ur tears n just do what u have to do.

This is life. So suck it up and move on!

Today was fun... Yet tiring. Hehe.. It started yesterday.. Went for midnite movie... After pick up my brother we went straight to gsc cinema. Watching oblivion.. Haaa... 2 hours movie.. Having so much fun....! We become so crazy after not seeing each other for a very long time...

The next day, we r having some little party at my house. With very delicious homemade food. Bbq.. Mushroom soup, n many more.

Around 6pm, went to pasar minggu. N bought some new gold fish. Heheh...

Next, we went for bowling at crystal bowl. And my brother come up as the winner.

As the night still early, we played pool. And we took so long just to finish one game.. Hahhaha.. First time for my sister.. And in this game,  i suck ... Huh.

Then, suddenly my cousin said she wants to play ball. So we went to civic center and play some toss the ball. Hihihi..

After tired playing ball, we want to go back home... Instead.. We stop by at bing and having some relax time together with brownies.. Uhhh....that brownies was so good.....

Later, we went straight home. Because tomorrow we will have a family day at camp permai. So, we need all the energy. Hahhaa.. However, on the way home.. We play some game in the car...which is continous word.. Hahhaha.. Its fun, bcoz we were in the car..... Hahaha..

And today's fun ends at midnite.. My day was full and i am really enjoy hanging out with them.

Hi... Its Friday, and nothing special coz tommorow is also a full working day for me.

I have some thought about debt. I bet almost each of us have it. The car, house, bank loan, credit card,ptptn... Duhh..

As we know, we already have a lot of debt.. But yet.. We intend to piling up the amount rather than lowering it. By loan with people... Worst is with along la..

As my father would say.. Before u borrow money from others, think on how u gonna pay it back. After u know, then u can ask for it.

I cannot understand when people simply dont want to pay the debt. For car, house, bank loan, credt card, by hook or by crook, u must pay it bcoz its bank.. If not, u'll know where r u end up later. As for ptptn, its ur responsibilities to pay it back.. U already get and use the money.. Hello... Its time to pay bro...

The worst thing is when u take advantage to people who trusted u. They gave their money and lend it to u.. On what clause, u can simply ignore the debt? Its their money and they work their ass for it. If u did not pay it here, u'll pay it there later..

For those who r lending money.. Screen the person, in and out... If u really think they wont pay it back, think twice b4 u give it. Its ur money anyway.

I lost 25 dollar yesterday while trading. Hoho.. N i get scold from 'abg'. He said "iboh nk kenja glak trade dolok..." then i just replied 'hahahhaa...'
Thare are lot of things happen to me lately. And i forgot i have blog to story. However, all that is still in my tiny memory. Hope it has enough space for all of it. Hahhaa..
Btw, i love movie BRAVE. I love the characters inside and its funny too. I dont know how many times did i watched that movie. I love it so much.

Hello... Long time no see.. I'vr been veryyyy busy lately with family and friends.. Life is just wonderful if u have all the thing u want and have someone to share it with.

Recently, i discover that i like many things in life. Not that i suddenly like it. Just realize that i do like it. Before this its just like a hobby which u can do it in free time.

But, i think hobby can be very interesting when u try to see it more than just a hobby. Which the hobby may can be ur biggest dream u can dreamed of.

However, parents may dont see the potential in their child in this dream thingy. They will see it just a hobby which can be gone after several months. For me, it will be gone if no one try to give the way for them to move forward.

I have a dream and this dream is the biggest dream i ever dream of.. And i would like to see it happen soon. I dont realize this is my dream after few days back which it really sip into my soul. I couldnt say what my dream is for now. We will see when i already almost achieved it, and say 'this is like a dream come true....'