hi.
wow, quite a long time i din hit my blog. btw, i am back now. i donno what 2 say, its just so many stories i wanna write here. but, i donno where 2 start. ok, i start from the beginning. after my final exam, i came home. and the next day, i went here, for industrial training.


now, i will talk about LI. the first time went into that huge company, many things lies in my head. i taught there were any other students come at that day. however, unfortunately, there were only two people reported for duty for that day, utm's student and me. thank God there was somebody.


emm.. for the first day, we went to company briefing. omg, that company was huge. so many things need to be considered before we can started our work. we have to go to induction, wearing PPE all the time, my safety boot was heavy and big. the smallest was finished already. i have to wear size 5 instead of 3. watever, its just for 10 weeks. i told myself.


i don want to talk about people here, bcoz it was to many attitude. bad and good. so, nothing to tell.


now, its entering the third weeks i'm here. and it was fun. yep, i admit that the first week was not so good.. its getting better for 2nd week and now, i am enjoying the environment here although i had some difficulties in communicate with the staff, bcoz they were very busy. i've been neglected and i'm getting used to it. but, amazingly, i managed to get some attention and did some incredible jobs. haha.. but, its quite scary bcoz it is the first time u did it and anything might be happen if u miss calculated the thing.


i have some works to do. i continued later.

i am soo tired.. i want to be happy again. get good result, manage my life properly, din forget to give food 4 my soul, i think my soul is very2 hungry now. i donno wat am i thinkin. can't figure it out. can't leave it hangin also. let time heals it and it will be gone fast enough until we din realize it pass through us.

i wanna go home. i want to watch tv, play games, and cooking for my sis. she loved my meggi with eggs. she also likes my soup, fried rice, and cucur udang. she does loved the cucur udang so much when she asked me to do it again and again.


i am happy when i am by her side. she makes me feel wonderful. emm... when i'm sick, she always refill my bottle with water. not to mention, she even cook everyhting for me. haha.. she's d best.


i am so eager to come home now. can't wait to see my little cute sista. haha... wait 4 me. i'll be around soon......

i am almost sick bcoz of certain things and people. please, go away.. do not enter my space as it is yours. i know u want to be nice and caring, its just not the right time. i dont need it.


i don want to be sick, sick is sick! it makes me tired and exhausted every time. although if i get a minor headache, i'll be whining and whine all the time to myself. this thing that made me tired and i sick of it.


just mind ur own business for this few days.. i really don have any mo0d to treat u as u want it to be. please go away. i'm saying please here.. thank you.

i am sad today. and if i am sad, mood will go away, and all things will doesn't seem right. i am very2 devastated... omg.... help me go through this feeling..

this feeling is so hard for me..i mean hard when i have a lot of work to do, a lot of assignment, and a lot of things that i need to think. all of my works is stop and would not move a single space because of this feeling.


i don't hate this feeling, hence i like it. it made me strong and thankful for what i have in life. btw, after i experienced this feeling, i will feel the happiness. it just like karma for me. duhh... lame rite, but it was a relief.


the things that made me sad recently:

- internship
- tests
- assignments
- friends
- touch rugby
- family
- money
- and the biggest problem that contributes in my sadness is myself. i think.


i donno weather i have problem with myself or not. but as i concern everything, all this problem do comes from myself. internship, i don think i wanna go there. assignment, i din do it because i am lazy to do it. test, i flunk my test because i don have enough preparation for it. friends, i over think of them. i rather think about friends than myself???. touch rugby, i don want to go for traning, makes me feel guilty. family, i din call my mum as usual. money, my money always gone. i donno what did i do to my money.



how am i gonna deal with this feeling? i am not so tough. i might look tough, duhh.. but, i still cannot handle this feeling. i always cry alone in my room to let this feeling out. after that, i'll be as good as new. hope so..


i don have anyone that always with me here, i even don have roomate. i am all alone.. then, because of this loneliness, i think to much about people around me. i try to blame my friends and seek for people mistakes or else i am in the silent mode while my heart punching from the inside to go out. why am i doing this? i hate to do this, it hurts.. but, i.. i can't help myself.


i am not a lady like kind of girl, but i am not strong when it involve feeling, i will be beaten easily by those feeling. i'd failed to fight. i don't know what to do..

i've been hiding 4 this few weeks....



i can't hate that person.... i am totally loser..............


btw, i am trying to update my blog, but i just not in the mo0d of typing it in here..


don worry, i'll be back soon.. em.. hope so...

OMG..... i realize that, i miss blogging.. but, i don have much time to post anything..




many things changes......... i tried many things either. so many things happen in my life. and sumone owe me RM 6... when do i can get the money..


gtg, i need to go for shopping.... bye! c ya.