Haaaa... I just got back from outing with my frens... And its 1:30am... Hahahhaha... I feel a little bit insecure coz my parents is here at home. However, its been a while i din hangin out at nite.. All for me is work and work..

Sometimes, going for karaoke or bowling, mid nite muvie did give me some space to breath... Its not that i dont like staying here, juz i dont want my parents to be worried and i hope they can trust me even wherever am i will be later on.

I hope my parents din blame my frens for taking me out at nite and i hope my frens will not afraid to ask me out at nite again..

I am in big dilemma... Hurmm... I like here but its best when i have my freedom too... I'm sorry if i ever did trouble u with my prob. I appreciate it.. Thank you.

Btw, i have to go now, to sleep..  since tomorrow i have to go to work. Haaa... Gud nite folks.

Sedeh juak la... X dpdh.. P xpa... Kmk bukn sepa2... I'll train my heart and mind to stay focus and be better.. I want to be better and then the best i can be.

Pagi tek... Ak ng xtauk la phl ak mok melawan... Tp, point ak simple jak. Xplu mok pdh bnda nok negative jak... Mun mok pdh pun, tuka la jd positif.. Sak x sakit ati nengar..

Ak melawan alu ak rsa ak derhaka. Ak la jaik.. Suma x betol. Xpt ka klaka bnda nok bgus2 jak. Memg la as reminder, tp mun dh bekali kali... Angol jd.

Ko pdh perange ak x berubah gk.. Perange ney gk mok ak ubah?? If ak ubah suma ekot pa ko mok, bgus ku jd robot jak nk. Nothing else left as myself.

Ak stress dolok time stadi x sampe darah ak nait. X lmk ak ctok, pande nait darah... Adeiii... Tp, tok slh ak dikpun juak kali. Xtauk la.

Btw, post tok based on perasaan ak jak. Mun sapa2 baca ada terasa, xda kaitan ngn ktorg sbnrnya.

Dh la. Xda point mok ngerepak kedak org tua pnjg2 ctok..

Haiizzz... What happen to our people nowadays... They only can see and comment what they read in the screen without thinking what is the main point of the writer.

It is some sort of disappointment for me when people is easily judge other people juz bcoz of what he/she did or wrote. We really dont know what is their intention when doing it.

Have u watch die hard 3 when all the games are only a distraction so that they can rob a bank without any authority survellience. All the good guy already focus on the bad guy's games.

This is what happen when we easily judge other people. They may have another big intention and with u acting like what they want, they know, they are winning..

So, dont judge without nothing. U r allowed to judge when u think u r perfect. If not, u can juz sit back and enjoy what people say..

Haaa.. I donno what happen to myself lately. Btw, there is one guy at my office, let called him 'tupei' coz it suit him. Wahahhaha.. (evil laugh)

This tupei basicly make my life sooooo misrable and tense. I cant do my own work coz i have to do all his demands about drawing at site. Not once, not twice or not thrice ( thrice??? Wujud ka.. Hahha..) but many times I have to amend the drawing just for him to look at. Damn!! I feel stupid. Screw u tupei.

I hate it when everytime i saw u opened that door and look straight at me.. I wish i can be invisible. Coz i know, when u entered our office, u need my help to draw samthing for u. Arghh.. Its sucks!

All the thing u want me to do can be done by urself. U're the bosssssss!!! u have to do ur own decision! Not me, fool! U are the reason i hate to go to work. And bcoz of my people, i brace myself to go.

One more thing, can u speak louder please....???? I bet my watch's ticks is louder than ur voice. N makes me feel guilty when i rise up my voice to u. Huh.

I really hope i can stay here until the end coz i want to show that i can do it. And its been a long time i din prove something to myself.

Enough about tupei, his story will not stop until this peoject ends. So, i have to go now. Need sleep and rest. See ya.

I donno whether i want to share it here or not... But i need to let it out coz i have to...

I'll write in my language, n i bet no one will read this either. So, doesnt matter at all...

Dolok, ak bait la wlpn xla bait glak. Bait as in xmok polh mak bpk sedeh. Do anything for them wlpn ad time rebel juak. Blaja, dpt result bgus, cdak hepi... Ya ku polh dolok k cdaknya..

Dh ku further blaja, ak rsa bebas.. Tp, kebebasan ku d tahan d ats sbb2 tertentu.. Dan ak redha.. Malah, ak hepi glak2... Perasaan ukhwah ya paling sweet ak penah rsa. Sampe dpt polh ati ku yg keras ya jd lembut..

However... Suma ya x lamak.... Lps ku berhijrah gk tmpt lain, suma bnda berubah. Ak try mok maintain but dunia lua ak besa glak n ak xpt lawan sorg2... N ak ngalah. Tp, ati ak maseh nekad mok stay as it is. Lamak2... Ak xpt tahan.. Ak ng kalah. Tewas abis ngn dunia...Rsa besalah ya xpt d pike gk.. Tp, dh slalu... Suma jd biasa.

Ak jd lalai abis. Tp bnda wajib ak try jaga gk.. Cuma kdg2.. Lps juak.. Makin lamak, makin ilang jak ilmu2 ak dpt dolok2.. Adala tinggal skit2.. Bnda ak polh slalu, x d polh gk.. Malas sngt menguasai diri... Rsa mok enjoy jak...

Lamak2... Ak pilih mok jd org normal. So, ak jd org normal.. Bz ngn dunia.. Rohani d berik mkn pun ckup2 jak... Berusaha juak la mok berik mkn ya, tp napsu tok ssh mok jaga mun dh d manjak glak...

N dekat ujong2 ak blaja, ak danugerahkan seseorg yg boleh polh ak ingt balit betapa ilmu ak dolok sngt penting... Kmkorg slalu bkongsi ilmu, apa2 jak... Suma bnda masok. Ak maseh jd org normal tp berilmu skit.. Ak suka daktok.. Tp suma bnda x kekal.. Ak terpksa berhijrah gk...

Penghijrahan tok paling sakit ak rsa. Tp, ak try juak. Wlpn sorg2, still juak try for the best. Time tok ak xtauk brapa kali ak rsa besalah dgn Nya.. Ak maseh gk mcm dolok.. Cuma ad kurg skit. Lamak2 ak dh biasa..

Lps ya, ak pindah gk tmpt lain. Tmpt tok ng mencabar iman dan sabar. Mcm2 jd... Ak time tok ng totally normal. Xda glak kamboh mok molh bnda2 aneh.. Malas jak byk. Passion dh kurg dh. Tired sbb ingt keja jak x abis2...

Amazingly, ak xtauk la dakne, ak d anugerahkan gk seseorg... Org tok lain skit. Cerita nya lain. Tp, sma jak pointnya. Molah ak ingt balit betapa ak dolok byk blaja ilmu mcm2.. Ny pun suka ilmu, ak try carik balit ilmu2 yg penah ak blaja dolok, n kmkorg salu kongsi2.. Tp, suma x sma cam dolok.

Nektok, ak try mok jd org biasa tp dlm ng berilmu. Apa2 ilmu la. Yg wajib ya boh lupak.. Try abis2 unless memg darurat. Dolok ak kamboh ngn dunia sbb ak tkut dgn komitmen lain. Ak xpt mok balance nya. Ad juak berat sebelah.

N this time, ak xmok jd org normal berilmu gk. Ak mok jd org yg berguna k org lain n dlm msa yg sma i am a balance person. Dunia ada.. Akhirat pun ada. Ak mok dpt jaga dirik ak dikpun balit dri segi fizikal n rohani.. Dgn kata lain, eksesais n ngaji. Ad 2 2.. Camya la.. Hati mok d cuci lok.. Pasya jaga kan nya...

Sbb hati sngt penting.. Nya fragile glak pun xpt.. Stiff glak pun xpt. Kuatkn dgn iman, lembutkn dgn iman. InsyaAllah, hope jak, doa boh benti, hati bgus, so suma anggota lain ya bgus juak..

Hahahha... Yesterday was awesome yet surprised for me. Going fishing for the first time was awesome but getting news that my blood pressure is on the border line was shocked.

However, this make me realize that health is important and make sure i dont skip my excercise.

There is one fren which i barely knew but i think i already knew her. She juz came to my life and make my life miserable and hectic but in the good way.

She makes me feel mcm2.. Happy, sad, disappointed, fun, and all the feeling u can think of. I am very blessed that she came to my life. Thank you God.

P/s: Wak, u still my person but u r not here, she is and always b.

helloooooo there... its been a longggggggg time. its not that i did not have things to write, its just i have no time to update. since i have a new phone, this laptop is rarely been switched on.

ermm... if i'm not mistaken, its already four months im working at kuching. Plus minus... around 8 months with this company. i donno what to say about how i feel while working here after this period.

but, what i can say now is i am used to all of this things. drive myself to work, eat lunch alone with my homemade food, wake up early, make up my bed, my mum's nag, and all other things I'd been said before.

therefore, i made some friends here. and yes, its fun. we play basketball together, futsal, story about weird and funny stuff.. ahaaa... there is one guy, lets name him mr R.

Since im working here, he is the one that always accompany me if i have to work overtime at the office. i can say almost everyday we stayed together. going back around 7 , 7.30 pm.. and sometimes 8 pm. however, this is not last longer... he had been transferred back at kk. and there is another person replaced him..

the person that replace him is a she and do not have driving license. If she wants to work overtime i have to sent her home. i dont mind to send her, but her house and my home is not the same way.. i hve to make a big U turn in order to send her and then go back home. and there is a lot of effort.... -_-''

Back to mr R, he always try to make me smile and laugh if i look so stressful while working. And he always made it. One fine day, he asked me out and i had a weird day ever. Its good, i had a lot of fun but, deep down inside was crushed coz he will be leaving soon. its not that i have feeling for him, its just, he makes me happy. i am happy when i'm with him. but now, he's gone.

after he left, i realized my work has been messed up. everything not rite and somewhere somehow, problems come up like crazy. i do not have the passion and i did not work overtime as always anymore. my work piled up and my assistant wont do anything if i dont tell her to do. plus, if i asked her to do that, i have to recheck and this is double work for me..

i miss him, i miss his craziness and weirdness. i miss working with him. although i have a lot of works but i still can manage to finish and solve it... owh and one more thing i miss about him.. guitar. he used to play the guitar after office hours and i love to see him played.


however, this is life. there's ups and downs in it. try to learn as much as u can and take out the best of urself. working here is not that bad and i learn to accept and improvise what i have get.

i'll update again about my work later coz i have to sleep now, like freakin now!
gtg, bye and cya! owh, i realize the title is not sync with the post at all! :p

its been 1 month i'm working at my own place. however,.. i already felt that i've been working here for few years now.. its exhausted and stressful.


i'm really not used to be nonindependent. since 2006, labuan, 2007-2011 serdang, 2011- Jan 2012 sabah, and only now Feb 2012 kuching. i'm not used to drive myself to go to work cause i always took bus or taxi, i'm not used to tidy up my bed coz i'll tidy up when i want to, i'm not used to cook everyday coz i'll buy my food, i'm not used to clean the house and fold the cloths cause i'll do it only when i hve to. there are many things which i'm not used to do here because before this, all of this already be taken care of.. however, now i live here, evrything will change. my routine will be changed.


i'm not used to live in my own house since its been too long i'm not around.. i'm not used to be 'no friends' condition in such a long time. i'm not used to be nag about the same things all over again everyday.


i'm used to be flying around and do whatever i want to do. and the best thing before this is my house is the nicest place for me to rest. however, lately the nicest place suddenly change to depressing place ever. i hope ill be used to this reality sooner, because my life depends on how much time i need to adapt this environment...

for the first time i feel so freakin mad at u. i hope i still can make myself sane and din do anything insane.

hi hi... i'm going back to kuching end of this month. and will not come back to kk. i will stay and work at kuching until my project finished. hihi... however, i'll miss everyone and everything that had happen to me all this time. i'm grateful with the opportunities and the experiences that i've gained. thank u again and gud luck for me at the new place.

Hi readers….

There are so many things going on in my life after the last post which is the tour. After the tour, I went back to kk for work…. What else.. and its December……. Hahahah… I like December very much. Everyone likes this month. Shopping, holiday, hang out, family quality and so on. but, for me coz its my birthday month. Wahahhaaa…..

On the second week of december, I went to Miri visiting my brother. In addition, my mum and dad always come along with my jazz (the new member of my family’s car).  We went for shopping and exploring miri. We have so much fun together and the most important thing – my ka ching! fly like a bird. What to do…. Nevermind. 

After that week, its my birthday and I’m working on my birthday.. Anyway, I did one hour OT. Hahaha… I had been responsible with blackie (my friend’s car) coz she is still on vacation. What happen on that day?? I hardly remember…. Oh, went out with some friends…  learn some guitar chords. Gonna play with my sis when I’m back at Kuching!

The main event for this month is Parent’s Surprise Plan. Hahaha….. and Alhamdulillah, it went well although the flowers become ice cream.. I thing I learn, mother’s instinct are totally powerful, indeed.

After that, we had our new year celebration by watching fireworks on television… I know its lame but when u with ur family, nothing is lame. 

Gtg now. Bye!!!!!