No one perfect

No one perfect. including me. i am just a tiny human that trying to survive in this cruel world.

How and what can I do if I am keeping to feel guilty on myself. Is it feeling guilty..? I dont know either.

Just assume that feeling is a guilt and That feeling always. always eat me alive. always swing my mood. always sent the black cloud with lightning out of the blue. 

I cant live with this feeling everytime 'the lightning' strike. I'm gonna loose myself. I am not saying I am right. but am I wrong..? 

Sometimes, I dont know what's wrong with me. why cant I think about anything with clear mind... I guess I have to start exercise and do some training for my mental health. 

Whenever I felt the guilt. Overthinking wil come and make thing worse. There are times I think I let my Ego to do the speaking. and as everyone knows what happens when Ego take charge.

Along the way, I realise some points can trigger me. First, if I am too tired and lack of motivation on anything. 2nd, if its regarding what I like to do. 3rd, if I think they assuming things on what happens. 4th, not sure what, sometimes anything can b a trigger.

Please, I'm tired of this feeling, how can I stop feeling this way. I want to be happy and makes people happy, not the other way around.

I love all the people around me, I want to be this cool and chill person as I used to be. I think.