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a letter from me

Posted by mierah on 7:52 AM in ,
i have a good friend, i mean a great friend that teaches me everything i never think of. but, after that day, everything is falling a part. its hurt to know the truth. well, the truth is hard. u did broke my heart that day, but the hurting part is not that, the hardest part is to know that i am hurting u for all those years. how can i forgive myself, after what i've done 2 u.

as we already know, u and i came from different world, different background and different everything. the thing that bought me to u is we came from the same place. that's it. and there r people asking ' how can u 2 be together?' i said donno... and now i know. u entered my world. u follow my way. and i let u. thats y we can b together. and i never think of it. thanks for that.


i never ever had an intention to treat u like a punching bag or mock the way u study. i am sorry. i taught u r loud, happy, hardcore person. instead, u r also sensitive, soft and caring inside. i forget that u may also a lady... everyone has their own way of study, me myself also do what u did. i am not clever or fast learner, i juz genius. hehehe.. kidding. i don have any idea that u were offended by me. i never think that i am the person that hurt u the most. (ouchhhh...) u never say a word that ur hurt....


i had no idea that i've been burden u with all my things. u need to cheer me up, motivated me, give advices, and i don remember the others. and i like it. i like all the attentions. but, things will not b the same, coz u had to lie to make sure i'm ok. and i cant live with that. its too long, u keep ur feeling too long. i taught, we friends, good friends. u can say anything u want. but why now? why don u juz scream at me when i'm hurting u? y u must lie and pretend... it does make me want to do more. coz i donno that i'm hurting u. and i don blame u for all this. i blame myself coz din realize all these things in the first place.


btw, am i hot tempered? yes, everyone knows that. but shooting people, i donno. but i cant say i din, coz i do. sometimes, i don even know i did it. in school, i am different than now, people change, i changed with the environment. i'm rebelling. i am sorry if u got shot. i taught u can handle all the shooting i'd thrown at u (intentionally or not). sometimes, u shot me 2. but i juz don care. except the last one, i care.


after that day, i'm afraid to be with u, i'm afraid if i'll hurt u again, its hurt to know when my love one hurts. i may have no value to u, but u r one of the most valuable thing for me. u taught me to say no, be confident, and many things that never come across in my mind. and not to forget, gossip ;). and i appreciate it. u try so hard to follow my way. and u r good. i never taught that i am so hard. u r different, coz u enter my world instead i entered others. thats y u cant stand me as i cant stand others.


i maybe a bit different, cause i'm still put my pieces together after u blew it with ur bazooka that day. and i want to thank you for everything u had given me and i am so sorry for everything that i've done. i cant say it in front of u, cause i'm suck at speech. and u know that. and i know there are hikmah for all what happen. i'm juz glad to know.

p/s: i'm still new with the gun, and sometimes, it feels gud to have a gun.

1 Comments


kadang2 mmg kite xsdar pun yg org yg slalu kite lukai is kwan rapat kite. but then, for the sake of friendship, jgn jauhkan diri. it will only make things worst.
ak pnah dlm situasi ni. n ak nyesal sampai skrg. if only ak ckp kat die how sorry i am for all the things i've done.

cheer up k!
:))

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